Welcome Letter to Parenthood. No there's really not a manual.

So you've decided (or someone decided for you) that it's time to have a baby.  New babies can be exciting and wondrous and have the general capability to turn your world upside down.  So what do you do?  Go crazy naturally.  After all, there's so much information out there about having kids, raising kids, and more importantly, screwing up your kids.  That's the one thing people seem to want to warn you against. What NOT to do.  Don't eat sushi while you're pregnant! Don't exercise too much! Don't eat lunch meat (that one always threw me for a loop)! The problem is, once you become pregnant everyone seems to want to tell you what to do and what not to do.  As if you don't have the brain power to decide for yourself what's right and what's not.  For the most part the advice is well meaning and can be helpful. After all, when I became pregnant with my daughter I had no clue about half the things that I was going to experience. I'd still rather not know to be honest.  But I was one of those moms that was determined to learn everything. I read books, I did research for hours endlessly on the internet, I bugged the heck out of all my friends that had kids. In fact, by the end of it I think I'm pretty sure my 'knowledge' was enough to drive my mother, older sister and doctor all insane!  And after all that research and now personal experience, the best I can tell you was summarized best by Douglas Adams when he spoke of the universe and, I suspect, life in general: Don't Panic.

Seriously, that's it.  Don't Panic and I can guarantee that 98% of pregnancy, labor and delivery will be a breeze.  Take the well meaning advice and either file it away or shove it in the mental garbage but smile and nod while you do it.  People don't like to think you don't care. And honestly, it's easier and less stressful to just smile and nod. Do your own research if that's your thing and be informed about the logistics of what you and your body are going through.  Try not to panic about every little thing and learn to listen and recognize warning signs.  If you're exercising and something hurts, stop.  Use common sense when it comes to things you eat.  Don't eat undercooked foods as they may contain bacteria. But don't freak out and give up your favorite eggnog at the holiday season.  As a huge fan of eggnog I was dismayed when people told me I couldn't have it so (naturally) I looked it up.  Turns out pasteurized eggs don't contain the bacteria that is harmful to pregnant women that unpasteurized eggs do.  So store bought eggnog that is made with pasteurized eggs is perfectly safe.  Sushi can be eaten if the fish is cooked. Which if you're a fan of sushi you already know that it's not all raw fish.  Unfortunately you still can't have your favorite beer or anything less then a completely dead steak.  My husband was so sweet he tried so hard to make flavorful steaks so that I could enjoy them.  But inevitably I reached for the steak sauce which in our house is a deadly sign.

Something that took me a while to understand was that doctors don't in fact know everything. Otherwise they'd all tell you the same thing all the time. So when your doctor tells you something that you're curious about, go and look it up.  Then discuss it with your doctor or, like me, smile and nod. If you don't feel that your doctor is adequately listening to you then request a new one.  Sadly there are a lot of doctors out there that don't look at you as a person but rather an appointment.  And so many of them completely ignore first time mothers because of their notoriety for 'freaking out' over every little thing.

Pregnancy can be both thrilling and scary at the same time. But a running theory that I have is that the calmer you are during pregnancy, the calmer your child will be. The less stress you have, the less high strung of a baby you'll get.  Makes sense to me then that the number one thing to do is Don't Panic.

This blog is intended to be a place for mothers and fathers to take a deep breath and exhale. To realize that pregnancy and parenting are things that so many people have frustrations with and to find people that understand.  I hope to provide a calming atmosphere where you can laugh and say 'yeah that happened to me too!'. I hope to post every Monday with a different topic varying between pregnancy, labor and delivery and child rearing and if anyone has any specific topics they'd like me to cover feel free to leave any comments or questions or send me an email at mischiefmanaged.kelli@gmail.com!